Love Love Love .....

They always say "Love begins with oneself"or "That you have to love yourself in order to love others".  So what does that really mean?? 

For many of us, we believe that if we love others enough then we will love our selves or even more then we wont have to and our partners love will be enough.  Unfortunately it doesn't work like that.  I say unfortunately because I see people try as hard as they can to make this formula work.  "I will love my spouse so much, I will do what ever it takes for them to love me and then I will feel it and we will be happy!".  Unfortunately (as I said before ..) this doesn't work.  

The only way we can feel love is if we have the capacity to feel it.  That means there has to be a place inside of us where we can put the love from another person when they send it our way.  More often than not this space that does exist inside of us is already full.  Its full of doubt, fear, shame, worry and self loathing.  In order to make room for love we have to clean out these unwanted renters.  We have to remove shame and replace it with worthiness.  We have to remove doubt and worry and replace it with confidence and safety.  We have to remove self loathing and replace it with compassion and pride.  Only then can love win .. and frankly between you and me I am always on love's side! 

If you want to learn more about this or explore this more in your life... Please don't hesitate to call we can help you find space for love! 

Written by Sara Mindel LICSW

Mind Body Connection .. Whats the Body got to do with it??

Have you ever felt hijacked by your emotions?  Like one day you're just walking along and all of the sudden you get mad, really mad, so mad you want to yell or throw something?  or you're watching a commercial and all of the sudden the cutest puppy makes you well up with sadness and want to cry? or that time that you get a text from a new crush and get so excited all of the sudden and wanted to jump in the air!?  Yeah these things happen to all of us! 

I often say we feel things because we feel things! What this means is our body gives us indicators, it tells us how we feel.. sadness often comes with a lump in our throat or tears in our eyes and joy can come with excitement in your chest! 

So often I have people come to my office and say I just can't control myself.  I offer that .. Really truly none of us can .. More so we can all have relationship with ourselves.  When we see that lump coming up or that rage or that anxiety or excitement we can do something about it.  We can make a choice, we can tend to it, listen to it and help it to become something great!   

The way to emotional wellness and regulation is not that we squash who we are but we are inspired by it and in turn inspire others! 

If you want to learn more about this or how to tune into your body and mind connection don't hesitate to call ....

Written by Sara Mindel LICSW